Simon Sellars: Sleepy Brain Archives

For the third part of our special feature on Lonely Planet’s new guide to Micronations, we present an extract from the book – the entry on the Republic of Molossia.
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THE REPUBLIC OF MOLOSSIA

His Excellency, Kevin Baugh, President of Molossia (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

The Republic of Molossia is surely the most delightful micronation on earth. While it describes itself as a ‘developing country’, this republic – surrounded on all sides by Nevada, USA – has a long and fascinating history, an incredibly detailed sense of national culture, and a beautiful insight into the ridiculousness of the modern world.

Formed under the auspices of Article 1 of the UN’s International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which recognises that all people have the right to self determination, this Nevada-based republic is a light-hearted antidote to the gun-totin’, government-hating secessionists so common to micronations on the North American continent.

LOCATION
Molossia is located in the western US. The Molossian Home Territory (aka Harmony Province) is situated within the Province in California. Desert Homestead Province is near the town of Twentynine Palms, home to the Joshua Tree National Park and the world’s largest marine base.

FACTS ABOUT MOLOSSIA
Postal Address: Government of the Republic of Molossia 226 Mary Lane, Dayton, NV 89403.
Website: www.molossia.org.
Founded: 1977.
Head of State: His Excellency, Kevin Baugh, President of Molossia (b 1962).
Capital: Espera, Harmony Province.
Language: English.
Anthem: Molossia, Nation in the Desert.
Currency: Valora (divided into 100 Futtrus).
Population: Four
Area: Harmony Province: 0.033 sq km; Desert Homestead Province: 0.022 sq km.
Time: GMT -eight hours, plus 39 minutes, Molossian Standard Time

HISTORY
Note on dates: Molossia has its own system of dates, counting its historical first foundation in 1977 as Year I. For convenience and clarity, we have used both standard and Molossian dates here.

Born from the ashes of the Grand Republic of Vuldstein – founded in 1977 by James Spielman (King James I) and Kevin Baugh (Prime Minister) – Molossia had a difficult birth, taking on several names and several forms over the first two decades. On 3 September 1999 (XXII) the Republic of Molossia as we now know it was declared, with former Prime Minister and Premier Kevin Baugh taking the helm as President.

Since this time, Molossia has played an unparalleled role in micronational development. In 2000 (XXII) the Molossian Government inaugurated the Intermicronational Olympic movement, and hosted the first Intermicronational Olympic Games. His Excellency won a gold medal in the
discus (with Frisbee). Molossia also spearheaded the movement to have Norton Day, January 8, recognised as a global micronationalist holiday to celebrate the memory of Emperor Norton, an eccentric figure who declared himself leader of the USA in 1859. Other initiatives of this active nation include the foundation of the annual Norton Awards for Intermicronational Excellence. In 2001 (XXIV), Molossia hosted the showcase Intermicronational World Exposition. Indeed, no other micronation has done so much to encourage and and inspire other young nations. His Exellency regularly travels on behalf of his nation, meeting other micronational leaders and forging important treaties.

Molossia’s plans for expansion have had mixed results. The beautiful, undeveloped Farfalla Colony was acquired in 2003 (XXVI), and remained a central platform for the nations development capacity until its sale in 2005 (XXVIII). A brief excursion into a second colony, Juniper Hill, was similarly short-lived. Ownership of that land has now reverted to the United States of America.

In late 2005, following the sad death of the president’s father, new territory – the Desert Homestead Province and National Monument – was incorporated into Molossian territory.
With the advent of the Bank of Molossia in 2004 (XXVII) came a maturation of the nation’s foreign vision. In contrast with its massive neighbour, Molossia ratified the Kyoto Protocol on Climate Change, sig¬nalling the continued thrust of this proud nation into the world spotlight. The Mo¬lossian government occasionally publishes commentary on important global events.

Alphonse Simms Memorial Cosmodrome and Broomball Field (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

PEOPLE & CULTURE
Broomball
Broomball, developed on Molossia’s dusty fields, is unique to this tiny nation. It’s played with brooms and a ball. It appears that players, often wearing gloves or mittens, have to hit a small soccer ball through makeshift goals. To outsiders unfamiliar with the nuances of this sport, it can appear very similar to field hockey.

Astrocam: the flagship craft of the Molossian Ministry for Air and Space Exploration (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

Space Exploration
In 2003 (XXVI) the Molossian space program received a boost with the opening of the Rufus T Firefly Memorial National Observatory (it’s a telescope). The Observatory was named to celebrate the Groucho Marx character from the 1933 film Duck Soup (Groucho plays the leader of the bankrupt nation of Freedonia). Also in 2003, an attempt was made to launch a probe skywards to provide aerial digital images of the nation. However, the ‘Hypérion Balloon Flight and Aerial Survey’ was a failure. Despite the use of over 40 balloons strapped to the camera, it got caught in trees.

This was not the first failed attempt at space research. A previous attempt to launch a rocket, the ‘Astrocam’, resulted only in a damaged rocket and a blurry pho¬tograph of land located across the border. It remains a dream of the Molossian space agency to one day obtain aerial photographs of the Republic.

LAWS AND RULES
Interesting laws and rules in Molossia include obligatory military service, death penalty, free-speech laws and a ban on smoking.

Molossia is very protective of its delicate culture. Citizenship is dependent on full residency. Applications for residency are not accepted.

Drug-crazed vandalism causes furore in Molossia (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

CRIME & THE FENCE INCIDENT OF 2005
Crime is extremely rare in Molossia, but it is not unknown. In late 2005 (XXVIII) a fence was damaged, apparently wilfully. There was no sign that Americans were invading. The Molossian government made the following statement on the incident:

“The Americans that live on the other side of that border are notorious drug dealers and users (we are not making this up), a situation that seems to be beyond the control of American law enforcement. Nevertheless, relations between Molossia and ‘those people’ have been fairly cordial, to avoid any sort of negative behavior, behavior that persons in the drug-dealing business are prone to…

It is presumed that this act was senseless destruction, without any sort of intelligent design. Minor acts of this sort have taken place in the recent past, and have been ignored and quickly repaired. This act of destruction is much more serious, as it will require replacement of that entire section of fence. We will do just that, but take no further action at this time.

Nevertheless, the fence will be observed closely for any new signs of vandalism. In case of future aggression, plans are being drawn up for retaliation, by the use of the American legal process, and, perhaps, by other means.”

CURRENCY
The Valora is pegged to the value of Pillsbury Cookie Dough, with three Valora being equal to one tube of Cookie Dough.

Currency symbols: Enterprise (Clubs), Strength (Spades), Prosperity (Diamonds) and Happiness (Hearts).

His Excellency, the President, Admiral of the Molossian Navy, aboard the M.S. Wombat (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

DEFENCE
The army didn’t work out so well, and the air force never flew. The navy seems to be the best fit. So, Molossia – a landlocked nation in the desert – has a navy. The navy is proud of its fleet, which consists of the apparently very seaworthy M.S. Wombat.

THINGS TO SEE
Molossia Railroad
With the evocative motto ‘Serving Molossia for over a 20th of a century’, the Molossia Railroad was opened on 13 March 2000. According to the official history of the railroad, it was ‘chartered to run through the province of Harmony, serving the commercial and passenger needs of that province from the Molossian capital of Espera to the German-speaking Molossian town of Steinsdorf’. Thirteen days after commencement, the final section of track was laid, completing 275 (scale) metres of track.

Three years later, an entirely new route was built, with the old lines torn up. This new route runs to 589 (scale) metres. A 390 (scale) metre addition is projected, under the auspices of the yet-to-be-incorporated Molossia Mining Company. Principal locomotive power is provided by a Baldwin 2-4-2 Columbia (Bachmann) engine.

FACTS FOR THE VISITOR
Places to Stay
While many visitors make a day trip from Reno, Carson City or Lake Tahoe, the closest accommodation is probably the handful of Virginia City options.

+ Gold Hill Hotel (tel. 775-847-0111; d from $45) South of town on Hwy 342, this has beautiful old rooms.
+ Crooked House (tel. 775-847-4447; 8 F St; r including breakfast $75-100) Another attractive, lavender-coloured choice.

PLACES TO EAT
Molossia has no food service available. Try the Mandarin Garden (30 B St, Virginia City) for affordable, delicious rice plates. Vegetarian-friendly.

SHOPPING
Molossian Postal Service
As with many micronations, stamps and currency are popular souvenirs for most visitors. Stamp releases include the Marilyn Monroe series, the Silent Film Stars series, the Rat Pack series, and a single-release stamp featuring Peter Ustinov (XXIII).

THE PEACE POLE
In a further display of Molossia’s broader world view, a Peace Pole was unveiled in May 2005 (XXVIII). There are more than 200,000 Peace Poles in over 180 countries, displaying prayers for peace in eight languages. They serve as constant reminders for us to visualise and pray for world peace.

The Pineapple Fountain & Summerhouse (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

NORTON PARK
Named after mid-19th-century eccentric Joshua Norton, a San Francisco resident who declared himself Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, Norton Park is situated out the back of Government House. While it hasn’t always been as splendidly attractive as it is now, the park has been a source of considerable pride to Molossians.

Having had a major overhaul in the past couple of years, Norton Park is now an extensive recreational area where Molossians can spend time together and enjoy the outdoors. Features of the park include the Molossia Railroad, the Pineapple Fountain, and the Summerhouse. The expansive Upper and Lower Plazas provide a European-style townscape the envy of many cities around the world.

BIJOU THEATRE
Molossia hosts an online cinema, screening the best output from the Molossian film industry. The films – mostly silent – are a combination of drama (‘Dastardly Deeds in Dry Gulch’), nature documentaries (‘Wild Weather in Molossia!’) and nation-building propaganda (‘A Micronational Award Ceremony’, featuring the former Grand Duke of Westarctica, and ‘Norton Park Gets a Facelift’). The films provide an opportunity for people in other countries to gain a glimpse of Molossian landscapes and cultural behaviour. They can be viewed at the Molossian government website.

The Tower of the Winds (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

TOWER OF THE WINDS
Wind is evidently fairly important to Molossians. Like cheese to the French or the steppes to a Mongolian, wind is at the heart of the Molossian national psyche. The following official statement sums up this relationship with one of nature’s most powerful forces:

“The wind is a part of Molossia, a constant song that plays across the stark, beautiful landscape. It cannot be fought, it cannot be resisted, it must be accepted and even welcomed, acknowledged as a powerful factor in everyday life here.”

The Tower of the Winds is a totemic construction that playfully and poetically references windmills, oil wells and Asian religious rituals. The Tower of the Winds is the unofficial symbol of Molossia, a kind of Stonehenge or Angkor Wat. Kind of. The elements of the tower include the blue Gazing Ball, the Santa Ana Bell and a string of Tibetan prayer flags.

GETTING THERE & AWAY
Car
Getting to Molossia’s Nevada headquarters is fairly simple. From Carson City, Nevada’s state capital, it’s a 30km car ride northeast along US-50 (‘The loneliest road in America’). Head through Dayton and – about 6km or 7km later – take a left at Lafond Ave. Take another left at Wagon Wheel Way and a right just ahead at Mary Lane. The Republic of Molossia is at number 226, just up on the right. Make sure they’re expecting you; don’t just show up.

Air
If you’re coming straight from Reno/Tahoe International Airport, the Republic is about 50km southeast. You’ll need to take the 395 south towards Carson City, and turn off at the Virginia City Highway. Turn left at the Seven Mile Canyon, just before Virginia City heading for Highway 79. Fairly quick lefts at Sam Clemens Ave and Sutro Springs Rd are followed by a right at Wagon Wheel Way. Take the second on the left, Mary Lane, and you’re there!

TOURS
The Government of Molossia only accepts visitors by prior arrangement. Do not just show up. Once you’ve called the Government of the Republic of Molossia and made arrangements, plan to spend as much as a whole hour sightseeing. Some visitors have tried to capture the spirit of the Molossian people in only 30 minutes. This package-tour mentality will prevent you from getting a real taste of this unique culture.

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Micronations: The Lonely Planet Guide to Home-made Nations. By John Ryan, George Dunford and Simon Sellars. Lonely Planet Publications, 2006, 144pp.
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..:: LINKS
+ The Republic of Molossia
+ An Introduction to Lonely Planet’s Micronations
+ Believe and Be Happy: An Interview with John Ryan, George Dunford & Simon Sellars
+ BLDGBLOG’s Interview with Simon Sellars
+ Micronations at Wikipedia