Sleepy Brain: Let's Go to the Colonies!

Are YOU finding it difficult to leapfrog to the head of the dole queue? Sick of rubbing shoulders with billions of other citizens on Earth? Tired of breathing in disgusting pollution? Clothes shredded and skin raw from acid rain?

Well, fret no more because a Golden Harvest of Adventure and Opportunity awaits you in the Outer Colonies. Ganymede, Europa, Io – these previously uninhabitable moons of Jupiter have been especially Terraformed© for you and your long-suffering kin. Think of the benefits (warning – may not apply to all colonies):

>> Jobs for all, in all categories, from ‘Simpleton’ to ‘Genius’
>> The chance for your children to love and learn in a land untouched by war
>> The satisfaction from knowing you have spread the seed of human happiness to the far reaches of the Solar System

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Sleepy Brain: Let's Go to the Colonies! GANYMEDE (for High Rollers only)
>> Class A government: stable (democratically installed party leaders)
>> Fully terraformed: lush hills and valleys, blue skies, oceans and river systems, breathable oxygen, just like Earth’s used to be (no respiratory apparatus required)
>> A-1 economy: inflation, unemployment, crime – nil
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Sleepy Brain: Let's Go to the Colonies! EUROPA (for Battlers, Suburbanites & Chardonnay Socialists)
>> Class B government: prone to Howarditis (slight chance of war, but still less than Earth’s)
>> 80% terraformed: some areas unfit for habitation
>> B-1 economy: inflation, unemployment and crime running at less-than-average levels
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Sleepy Brain: Let's Go to the Colonies! IO (for Poor Trash & Students)
>> Class D government: rampantly Jeffed one-party system (still some work to be done here – accept the challenge!)
>> 30% terraformed: air too thin for human comfort (oxygen suits must be worn at all times when outdoors); temperatures reach minus 400 degrees (make sure you bring some warm clothes)
>> Class D-5 economy: what do you expect with all those student radicals and dope peddlers together?

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DON’T MISS OUT ON THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY!
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>> Contact Sub Dee Industries NOW to reserve your place in the 2006 intake!
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