Simon Sellars: Sleepy Brain Archives

by Andres Vaccari

Illustration by Mik Ruff, taken from Micronations: The Lonely Planet
Guide to Home-made Nations.

Welcome to Part Two of Sleepy Brain’s Micronational Bonanza, in which we continue to shine a spotlight on Lonely Planet’s new guide to Micronations: Home-made Nations. According to the book’s introduction, the guide is “a journey across the world and into the minds of people who have decided to strike out against society, take control of their lives and change home” (see Part One for the full intro).

Andres Vaccari spoke to the book’s co-authors John Ryan, George Dunford and Simon Sellars, and came away convinced he was King of His Own Backyard.

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Co-author John Ryan.

Define ‘micronation’ for novices.

JOHN: A micronation is not just a small nation. It’s much, much less than that. In the book, we’ve defined micronations as any country claiming real land, but not recognised by the broader community of recognised nations. In the interests of humour and entertainment, we’ve omitted the more serious would-be nations, and have concentrated on the more unique, funny and entrepreneurial homemade nations out there.

GEORGE: I reckon a micronation is anywhere that a person finds themselves unable to express themselves within their nation and decides to do something about it.

SIMON: There’s no real hard and fast definition. Probably for the purposes of the book it’s defined as a nation that’s formed as a hobby, or a joke, or even as a protest – anything outside the ‘normal’ definitions of statehood. Micronations are sometimes called model nations, and that’s probably pretty accurate. In many ways it’s like building – and controlling – your own train set.

Why should we care about micronations?

JOHN: Because everyone needs a hobby. Actually, micronations can tell us a lot about the world and the way people live in it. These nations teach us that the whole concept of nationhood is fairly arbitrary, and once we realise that, we’re … nowhere! The other important reason to care about micronations is that the movement is not really about places at all — it’s about people, and the type of adventurous free spirit that typifies a micronational leader deserves celebration in a world of bland, commodified celebrity.

Co-author George Dunford.

GEORGE: Maybe we shouldn’t care. We should just let these places get on with their own national affairs and not bother them for taxes or votes. A micronation is really a place that’s shrugging off another state, so perhaps we should just all mind our own nations.

SIMON: We should care because it’s hard not to get the sense that a lot of people all around the world are getting really fed up with being led into wars, economic conflicts and political turmoil purely on the basis of an accident of birth – situations that they don’t support, have never given their consent to, and against which they have no recourse. Inventing your own micronation gives you the chance to devise your own thought lab where you can safely test the limits of your own psychopathology, while sticking it to the man and having a bit of a laugh at the same time.

If you founded your own micronation, what principles would it be established on? What would it be called, and what title would you give yourself?

JOHN: While I love the micronations of the world, and admire those who set them up, I’m happy to be an observer of their curious universe. I do believe, though, that the micronations that are founded on self-deprecation, humour and a sense of the absurdities of life are the most interesting, attractive and successful.

GEORGE: I’m not sure on principles because I don’t know who the citizens would be. I’m obviously too eager to please to be an autocrat so there’d have to be some democracy involved. The anthem would be a mash-up of the Beastie Boys ‘Fight for your Right to Party’ and Lloyd Cole’s ‘Are You Ready to be Heartbroken?’ –- it’s important not to build up expectations too high in potential citizens. As for a title for myself, I couldn’t even presume to be anything greater than an Attache to the Lunchroom or a Special Adviser to their Majesties on Cakes.

Co-author Simon Sellars.

SIMON: Well, I did form one when I was 16. It was a bit of a disaster, though. It wasn’t really based on much of anything except being tough, and it failed at that – miserably. What happened was, I grew up in the Melbourne suburb of Bentleigh and I decided to form the Independent Republic of Bentleigh. I declared myself President, claimed Bentleigh in its entirety as territory, and seceded the IRB from Australia. The Rose Tattoo song ‘We Can’t Be Beaten’ was the national anthem. Unfortunately the IRB was invaded by Poland – the Polish kid from next door jumped over the fence, beat me up, ripped up my flag, and crushed my toy tanks and plastic soldiers. He also stole my lunch money, which meant that the IRB’s assets were totally drained in one go. Mum cleaned up the mess, but where was she when this Polish nutter punched me in the chops in the first place?

What attracted you to the Lonely Planet Micronations project?

JOHN: The creative independent spirit of micronational leaders is inspiring. Whether acting out of a sense of injustice or just plain fun, the desire to play out a small personal passion at a ‘national’ level is fabulous.

GEORGE: Partly it was the chance to learn more about these places and work with co-authors who I thought would create a book that could be both funny and real. There are plenty of parody travel books, but this book works within the truth and the guidebook structure, while hopefully being a bit of laugh.

SIMON: I’m just interested in anything to do with ‘edge’ culture in any form, especially when it undermines or undercuts or reflects or comments or distorts mainstream, or ‘umbrella’, culture. The Basques in Spain; the Welsh in Britain; even the Big Brother reality-TV franchise — even something like rugby league forming as a breakaway from rugby union, or the World Series Cricket revolution existing side by side with traditional test cricket. I can’t quite explain why such scenarios mesmerise me so deeply and so completely, except that I’m really interested in the sci fi concept of parallel worlds, and anything in this world that has managed to forge a genuine, thriving or even banal alternative fascinates me no end.

Make stamps, not war: His Excellency Kevin Baugh, President of Molossia (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

Is creating your own nation a better alternative to armed revolution?

JOHN: Well, that depends. Armed revolution is pretty awful, but it’s served its purpose in the past. The grand republican experiment that is the USA was born from armed struggle, as was the second-newest country in the world: East Timor. Micronational hi-jinx just wouldn’t have cut it. In an age of ‘global terrorism’ though, armed struggle has become a more fraught exercise than normal. Freedom fighters are now terrorists — would Timor’s independence have occurred after September 2001? The status quo is more entrenched than ever; armed revolution is less an option than ever before. Micronationalism is one way of dealing with serious issues, but …

GEORGE: Sure, but it might not bring about a lot of change — just a micro amount.

SIMON: Maybe it’s a better alternative. Although quite a lot of micronations have found themselves in the middle of armed conflict. Sealand, for example, suffered a violent coup attempt. Tonga invaded the Republic of Minerva, the Republic of Rose Island was destroyed by the Italian navy, and Kugelmugel was overrun by Austrian police. Although some people advocate both strategies, like Edwin Strauss. In his book How to Start Your Own Country, Strauss advocates the Mouse that Roared gambit: find a bit of land, secede, then procure suitcase-sized nuclear devices and threaten to explode them if your nation is not recognised. I’m not entirely sure he’s thought that one through, although to be fair, he was writing pre 9/11.

Are micronations better when they’re founded on comedic or political principles?

JOHN: As a means of addressing real political issues, micronationalism is unlikely to provide satisfying results. That doesn’t mean micronations can’t or shouldn’t be political, but they’re more likely to be successful if their political message is delivered in a cloak of satire and humour.

GEORGE: Political principles are becoming more comic as voters elect politicians based on their ability to be easily caricatured. I think comedy is one of the few remaining subversive tools that people feel achieves anything.

SIMON: Maybe comedic, for the reasons I outlined in my previous answer. Satire can often be a lot more effective — and safer — than the ballot or the bullet.

King Danny and his henchman Jon Bond announce the formation of Lovely (photo courtesy King Danny).

What’s your favourite micronation?

JOHN: Molossia, in Nevada, is the funniest and most impressively intricate micronation I have come across. President Baugh has done more than most to encourage an intermicronational movement, as well as building an impressive micronation himself. In terms of admiration, Emperor George of Atlantium (a flat in Kings Cross, Sydney) takes some beating. He is a philosopher, a humanist, an optimist and an eccentric.

GEORGE: Tough to play favourites, but I’m a Baron of Lovely, so I’d probably have to be patriotic about it.

SIMON: It’s got to be Sealand – Prince Roy was a true pioneer and just a bit wacky, too. Sealand has a fascinating history, having evolved from the whole pirate radio subculture in the 1960s. An inspiration to us all!

What’s the strangest story in the annals of micronational history?

Emperor Norton (photo courtesy The Virtual Museum of San Francisco).

JOHN: Emperor Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, was a bankrupt homeless man who paraded around San Francisco dressed in full, tatty military regalia in the 1860s and 70s. He issued decrees dissolving the US government in 1860 and disbanding the Democrat and Republican parties in 1869. He also decreed that a bridge be built between San Francisco and Oakland. Forty-six years after his death, the Bay Bridge was opened, and a plaque acknowledging Norton’s foresight adorns it to this day. His proclamations were front-page news, and citizens would bow as he passed. His death in 1880 was front page news and more than 10,000 people attended his funeral.

Many micronations acknowledge the importance of Emperor Norton, with Molossia celebrating Norton Day on January 8 and issuing the annual Norton Awards for Intermicronational Excellence.

Or perhaps the strangest thing is Bumbunga’s giant map of Britain made from strawberry plants…

GEORGE: Dunno … Sorry.

SIMON: Elleore — a jolly, slightly cultish micronation founded by a group of Danish schoolteachers (known as the ‘Immortals’) on the uninhabited island of Elleore in 1944. Later, when the Immortals delved into the history of the island, they discovered it actually had an ancient lineage, deriving back to 944 and the settlement of a depleted band of Irish monks. Bizarrely, these monks were disciples of Saint Fintan, none other than the patron saint of the Societas Findani, the society devoted to free education to which the Immortals belonged. It’s a synchronicity of which Jung would be proud — during the Reformation, when the Danes drove the monks off the island, Oscar, Elleore’s last abbot, said that the monks’ Kingdom would again rise from the ashes, some time in the distant future. And so it did, completely by chance.

Complete this statement: “To create a micronation, you have to be…”

JOHN: …passionate and blessed with spare time. A rare combination.

GEORGE: …confident in your own (in)sanity, because lots of folk will question it.

SIMON: …a little bit out there, and very charismatic, to think you’ve got what it takes to attract citizens to your way of life. Individualism reigns these days, so logically, in a western consumer culture that enshrines the cult of ‘me, me, me’ at all costs, there should be millions of micronations all with a population of one. If you can increase that figure of one, you’re doing very well indeed.

What’s one thing you’ve learnt from doing this project?

JOHN: For me, the biggest lesson learnt from micronationalists is that people crave, demand and deserve respect. Even the funniest of micronations expect to be treated on their own merits. It would be too easy to mock and deride these people, and dismiss them as nutters. The truth is that they are generally people with something to say and something to contribute to the world.

GEORGE: That people can be infinitely creative.

SIMON: That there’s more than one person interested in writing about micronations – John Ryan and George Dunford for starters, god bless ‘em.

The book features a section called ‘Mad Aussies’. Why has Australia birthed so many micronations? Why has Mongolia birthed none?

JOHN: Spare time.

GEORGE: Mongolia has a lot of political issues that should inspire micronations, but perhaps many Mongolians feel the means of creating a micronation is beyond them. Australians have it pretty easy when it comes to creating micronations. The Commonwealth moves too slowly to do anything about them — a great example is Prince Leonard’s weekend war with the Federalis — and there’s enough land for them to hide out in.

SIMON: Because Australia’s always been a lawless land, and because we still, for some bizarre reason, have an English queen as our head of state. As for Mongolia, it’s apparently the most sparsely populated country in the world – maybe you have to live cheek by jowl to get angry enough with your neighbour’s appalling habits in order to break away from it all.

Which Australian state is the best candidate for seccession?

JOHN: Well, Western Australia almost did it. And Queensland is its own universe. But I reckon an independent Tasmania would be fabulous. What a great little country that would be. Easy to get to, easy to get around and – finally – a nation aside from Australia that plays Aussie Rules football! Great beer, too.

GEORGE: Tasmania seems geographically obvious, but I reckon South Australia should have a go. They’ve had pretty poor treatment from the Commonwealth over the years with detention centres, nuclear weapons testing and now radioactive material dumps, so it’s only a matter of time till they work out they’re better off without Australia. They’d have to re-think the second part of their name though. Maybe Southalia? Or The Great Southern Land — with an Iva Davies anthem.

SIMON: Queensland. Haven’t they tried to leg it before?

Astrocam: the flagship craft of the Molossian Ministry for Air and Space Exploration (photo courtesy Republic of Molossia).

Sea, land or outer space — what’s the best territory for micronational bliss?

JOHN: Micronational bliss exists in a pure form in people’s heads. It’s like religion — you have to believe and then you will be happy. So the physical form is immaterial. Land is easiest.

GEORGE: Tough question. In terms of ‘most successful’, obviously it’s land, with sea becoming something the big nations are trying to own. I suppose big nations will start digging their flags into chunks of space, if corporations don’t get there first — anyone for moon condos?

SIMON: Space. In space, there’s no down or up, or left or right, and if that’s not the perfect metaphor for creating your own nation from scratch, I’ll eat my plastic sceptre.

Is micronationalism an antidote to nationalism?

JOHN: Yes, in the sense that it shines a spotlight on nations, nationhood and nationalism and basks in the reflected glow of ridiculousness. But as I’ve said, it’s more about people — their dreams, desires and stories — than actual places. So it’s probably more an anecdote than an antidote.

GEORGE: Nope. It’s the same thing on a smaller — and often funnier — scale.

SIMON: Probably not. Micronations tend to end up fighting over the same things as ‘real’ nations. It’s a bit depressing, really.

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Micronations: The Lonely Planet Guide to Home-made Nations. By John Ryan, George Dunford and Simon Sellars. Lonely Planet Publications, 2006, 144pp.
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..:: BUY THE BOOK

..:: LINKS
+ An Introduction to Lonely Planet’s Micronations
+ Extract: The Republic of Molossia
+ BLDGBLOG’s Interview with Simon Sellars
+ Micronations at Wikipedia