Originally published on Sleepy Brain, 16 May 2004.

SUBSTANCE D (mors ontologica) tames smooth muscle spasm (commonly known as the “Black Shakes”), as well as split-brain syndrome resulting from information overload and post-capitalist inertia.

SUB DEE provides effective relief in patients of all ages, also combating subsidiary BS ailments such as: hyper-motility of the gut, infant colic, dysmenorrhoea, irritable bowel syndrome and peptic ulcer. Studies of 916 patients have shown a remarkable success rate of 90.7%, including these happy users:

“It is said that he to whom it is given to see Christ sees him more real than any other reality… I have tasted SUB DEE and it is the real thing” – EL, Bentleigh

“D is for Death. Slow Death – that’s what we junkies call SUB DEE. Slow Death. From the head on down. But it beats watching TV” – B.A., Anakie Gorge

FOR FULL PRESCRIBING INFORMATION, SEE THE AUSTRALIAN DRUG COMPENDIUM

“Substance D”, “Sub Dee” and the “Cityscape” symbol are registered trademarks of SUB DEE INDUSTRIES

© 2004 Sub Dee Induestries
Contact: Simon Sellars